Not too much to say here but wanted to let you all know that we are surviving this winter vortex. I am so SO fortunate that our barn is heated. Don’t get me wrong it still has been cold enough to freeze the water buckets but it could be so much worse. My barn manager, trainer, and all the barn workers have worked incredibly hard and I thank them so much!

I have been trying to help out the best I can too. I am fortunate to live so close to the barn and was able to work from home all week. This allowed me to stop in twice a day to give the boys fresh hot water and take them on aisle walks.

Luther and Zee have never actually met but acted like long lost best friends. 😂

Been trying to keep up on Luther’s wound but BO and I have decided that it is time to call the vet in. 😥 More to come on that later.

Haircuts, horse shoes, and hocks

I know that I haven’t written in a couple of weeks but non-horse life has been a little crazy. Life has been quite stressful but I like to keep this blog on the positive side of life so I don’t tend to post those things. When I get stressed this much I get severe headaches. By the time our lesson came along I had a headache for 2 days straight.

On one positive note, we had our first outside lesson!! Winifred was pretty good to start but once some deer came out he was pretty sure they were going to kill him and that there were more killer deer hiding all around the ring. He really was not that bad but having to work harder made my head pound more and more. The look on my face must have been noticeable cause trainer S (TS) asked if I was ok. I ended up not jumping much because every time we landed my head felt like it was going to explode! We just did the warm-up X and then one line. Between my head splitting and the fact that he was super calm on the line, I called it a day.

Mom, you brought cookies right?!

With big progress made on some work projects and great friends who helped me relax this weekend I am feeling much more like myself! It also helped to give Luther, the fluff ball, a haircut. That may sound like a weird thing to relax me but I have said it before, that horse is my rock and just being near him centers me.

I am working from home all week so I planned on plenty of pony rides! Winifred and I usually ride on Sunday and then he has Monday off but since I clipped Lou on Sunday I decided to change Winifred’s schedule and ride on Monday. Again, yay working from home! Came out Monday all ready to ride Winifred in the beautiful sunshine only to find that Win was missing a shoe 😦 Trainer D (TD) just shook her head and informed me that the farrier left maybe 20 minutes ago! He comes on Mondays and he is usually there when I get there but he came early this week so he finished early. He is not able to come out until next week so looks like Winifred has a week off.

***New contest: let’s see who can write my eulogy since next week I will lesson after he has had a week off. Lol.***

Still trying to remain positive and figured I would just plop around on Luther this week except that he get his hocks done. I thought it was next week but TS reminded me that the vet is coming out this week. So much for plenty of pony rides this week! Oh boys! Lol. Actually super happy that Lou is getting his hocks done this week. He has been pretty stiff lately and he is overdue. He will never go back to jumping courses but he deserves to be comfortable.

Stall rest after hock juice
Lots of grazing this week

Broken Confidence

Just got home from my jumping lesson and I have to admit that my fall last week got to me more than I let on (even to myself). The lesson started much like it did last week with Winifred being a good little hunter going low and relaxed.

Things started to go downhill when as we went around a corner by the mounting block trainer closed her coffee cup lid which made a snap and after that Win was absolutely sure something was hiding in that corner waiting for the perfect time to jump out and eat him.

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We changed direction and suddenly the other end of the arena was a mine field. The funny thing is that is the clubhouse end and at the beginning of the lesson the barn dog was barking but by then she was silent. Normally his spook is to jump sideways and spin. We had a few of those and also two butt-tuck-under-then-jump-ups. He even did a “hopping” canter at one approach to that end to. Then he would relax down the long end then the scary mounting block monster would threaten. *Sigh*

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I thought that that things would be fine once we started jumping. While he gets super strong over fences he does get focused and scary things tend to fade away. We trotted the warm up X, well the front have of him did at least. Did it the other way and he definitely didn’t want to hit his legs again. Back and forth one more time fine then did the outside line. I like to force him to do the add in our warm up so we did a 6 SUPER easy and I relaxed but not one stride off the line he shot left. Not something he has ever done.

That run out brought up nerves I didn’t want to acknowledge that I had after the fall.  Part of me even wanted to tell my trainer that I was good for the night but I soldiered on. Our first course was going good until our last fence which was a long approach to a single. Win was building his canter stronger and stronger but I was holding my own. I saw my spot and it was the right spot but as he got stronger at the last second I gave in and ended up jumping ahead for the 2nd time ever on him (1st time ended in a face plant). This time ended up better because it was a single and not a triple but still not good. Second course was alright and I hit my spot on that fence but I am pretty sure I had a death grip on him.

This night (and last week) have got me completely rethinking my goals. Look, I know that many of you are jumping 3’, 4’, or giant cross country fences and probably think I am pathetic to question if I can do 2’6” but I didn’t grow up jumping. I did dressage and even a little western pleasure (shhhhhh don’t tell anyone!) and after my back surgery I know my mortality. Can I do this? Which yes, I am still confident that I can jump 2’6″ but can I do this on Winifred? I know that I can but am I good enough to handle a strong, spooky horse like Win?

Trainer and I discussed this after my lesson. She reminded me how confident I was at the clinic and how good we did over the solid jumps there. She reminded me that we have not jumped in a month (expect for last week) and that everyone loses confidence after a bad fall and that we did 20 jumps tonight and had 1 bad and 2 eh jumps. But of course all I am focusing on are the 3. Lastly, she pointed out that we have a schooling show in a couple of weeks and I can make some decisions then.

I thought I was fine but it is clear that I am now second guessing my distances. Anyone else ever feel this way, and if so, how did you get past it?


2018 Goals (Real original, I know)

Goals, goals, goals……. Everyone is posting about their goals and I need to evaluate what I want out of 2018. As you know from my previous post my trainer set a showing goal for me but I need to think about some other personal goals. I know that this is a blog about horses but there are no horses without being healthy. I have an autoimmune disease called Hashimoto’s. It attacks my glands and specifically it has been decimating my thyroid the last 2 years. I have put on MANY MANY pounds in the last 2 years. I get my thyroid tested every 6 months and last month it was at its lowest level ever. I have tried everything from Weight Watchers, My Fitness Pal, and everything in between without any weight loss or any more energy. I am currently on Day 2 of Whole 30 and of course I have weight loss goals but I also have non-scale victories. Ok this is supposed to be about 2018 goals but I feel like I needed to give some background.


  1. Lose 50 lbs
  2. Reduce my rosacea
  3. Improve flexibility
  4. Handle stress better
  5. Exercise 3 days a week
  6. Blog twice a month
  7. Keep my back healthy and strong
  8. Get Finnley’s jumping on people under control!
  9. Don’t totally embarrass myself at a show
  10. Qualify for medal finals
  11. Scared to write this one but trainer set it…… Be in the ride off for medal finals
  12. ***After looking in my closet I am adding finishing scrap booking for the following trips:
    1. Budapest
    2. Vienna
    3. Prague
    4. Hong Kong
    5. Stretch goal start Shanghai
He is so cute!