Happiness & Guilt

I know that I still have not written about how my riding is going, but I am having a hard time not feeling guilty when I am happy. I sat down to write about my riding but it felt wrong to write how amazing it made me feel from the very moment I sat on JB when I am overall still so heavy hearted. It hasn’t even been 2 weeks since I lost my best friend so it just feels wrong to write happy things yet.

I am also feeling guilty that I am looking at new dogs. This is yet another mixed emotion for me. On one hand it does lighten my heart to think of a new dog in my now oh-so-empty home. But on the other hand is it disrespectful to Oscar to consider this so soon? My friend, M, has been spear heading the search. He told me that the best way to get over an ex is to get a new boyfriend and it is the same for a dog. While I do not necessarily believe in that there is some things that only a dog will be able to heal in me. Do you think I am moving too fast?

The other concern that I have with getting a new dog is the incredible bond that Oscar and I had. I know that most people think that they have a great bond with their animal but I have never felt or seen a bond like he and I had. It literally started from the first day we met when he broke free from the lady fostering him and ran directly to me then sat and leaned on my leg like that was exactly where he belonged. Once she caught up he jumped into my lap and put his paw on my face. In a very movie like moment he chose me. I know I know that I will find a new bond with a new dog and it won’t be the same but it will be there. But how do you beat the story of your puppy choosing you from across the room?

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Did I mention how cool Oscar was? He was totally secure enough in his manhood to rock pink blinged out sunglasses!

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He loved water so much that he even thought he might want to join us in the hot tub. When I told him no he splashed me!

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So tired after a day at the lake that he couldn’t even hold his head up on the way home.

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2 responses to “Happiness & Guilt

  1. Don’t feel guilty. You’re allowed to be happy and enjoy things. I know how you feel. My heart broke a little when I lost my pup last summer. I still cry but it is a bit easier. If you don’t feel ready for a new friend don’t rush into it. Have you considered fostering?

    Liked by 1 person

    • I had not thought of fostering. That is a really good idea. I am not doing anything though until the end of June though. I am going to Europe and I don’t want to get anything until after I get back. Hopefully the guilt will lessen by then.

      Like

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